When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation.
I almost died in Finding Nemo.
Friend: Dude, I can’t stop dreaming about my crush.
Me: Well imagine this… You’re home alone, and your crush comes over to visit.
Friend: Ok I can see it…
Me: She walks into your room and you’re just sitting there.
Friend: Uh-huh.. I’m likin’ this.
Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She’s not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you.
Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta’ naughty girl.
Me: Yeah, ok. Don’t get dirty on me. So she’s sitting on you. And then… she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you’re a toilet.
Friend: I hate you…
i believe i can flyyy
got shot by the pizza guyyy
all i wanted was some onion ringggss
from McDonald’s or Burgerkinggg
I believe i can soarrrr
mom slapped me in the grocery storeee
Even though im 24 I still got an imaginary dinosoarrrrr
I believe i can falllll I tripped on a bouncey ballll
Thought id post this funny jokes. Even though i got no votes.