An octopus swans into a bar proclaiming to be a genius musician with any instrument. An English fella riled by the squid’s audacious claims wages him an ale he can’t play the boozers piano better than Elton john, the octopus excepts the challenge and proceeds to play the keys like Mozart! Not wanting to be sidelined an Irish brogue yells at the octopus to work his magic on his electric guitar; to which the 8 legged legend smirks before knocking out a number better then Hendrix, flaunting his talents defiantly with aquatic arrogance! Finally a burly drunk Scotsman who has been seething in the corner rocks up to the octopuses table and says; “alreet you slippery swine, why don’t ye try ye chances with me bag-pipes eh ye cocky wee shite!!?” Shoving the instrument aggressively in the arms of the maestro, the octopus wastes no time leaping upon the instrument in a flash, rubbing his tentacles up and down the instruments bag like a squid possessed, fumbling in a noticeable f!
luster for several minutes without so much as a note from the pipes! The Scotsman laughs and claps his hands in triumph; “whets the matter pal” he crows, “can you nay play it!!?….”play it!?” says the octopus “I’m gonna shag her brains out once I get her fookin pyjama’s off!”

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